The year is over – at least, it is in some parts of the world, and in a few hours, it’ll be over here too.
It’s been a pretty huge year for me, personally and professionally. I turned 30, interviewed some of my heroes, started the Abuse in Shoujo column, had some close friends move up here, ramped up my involvement with Anime Feminist, and paid off my enormous credit card debt (seriously guys… over 10k in two years. I’m fucking proud of myself).
Last year I resolved to try to update the site weekly and managed to… for a little while. But then, in the immortal words of @horse_ebooks (rest in peace), everything happens so much. I hit a point where my relationship with my coteacher and, consequently, my director at work was strained, on top of already having an exceptionally difficult group of toddlers in my class. My partner, my editor, and emotional rock started working evenings, which meant I saw way less of him. All this put me into a minor depressive episode, making it hard to maintain any kind of posting schedule. And while my situation and outlook have improved, it’s been hard getting back into the habits that made regular updates possible.
Honestly, the time has come for me to think hard about the role I want Heroine Problem to play now. This site is my baby, the place where I can write and post on my own terms without worrying about what someone else considers relevant or worthwhile. However, Anime Feminist has over the past year taken up more and more of my time and energy, and it’s hard not to prioritize it. It allows me to reach a wider audience, to help other writers grow as an editor and, frankly, get paid for my work without worrying about marketing myself. Because of AniFem, I’ve been afforded opportunities and made connections I couldn’t have as an independent blogger who is actually really terrible at courting an audience.
So, where does that leave this site? When AniFem first started, I told myself Heroine Problem was still my first priority, but I can’t say that anymore. Instead, it’ll the place where I know my voice is the main one. It’s a place for my recommendations and projects and where I get a little personal, plus a home for all my posts that don’t quite fit elsewhere. Maybe I’ll even branch out a little – it’s not like the URL is particularly anime, and I’m going to a Tamora Pierce talk at the end of the February that will probably end in messy sobs. Did you know after you turn 30 the slightest hint of nostalgia makes you dissolve into a weepy mess? Fucked up but true. I ugly-cried at an AMV, Fushigi Yugi, and “On the Radio” at a Regina Spektor concert this year. There are probably some other ones I don’t remember too.
Anyway. Heroine Problem is here to stay. That’s important to me. But things are probably going to be a little different.